"A child's learning is the function more of the characteristics of his classmates than those of the teacher." James Coleman, 1972

Monday, April 05, 2010

Arne Duncan appoints Dolores Umbridge as New Test Czar

Secretary of Education Arne Duncan announced today that famed educator Dolores Umbridge will be heading up a new effort to create national tests based on national standards, as outlined in the recently published Blueprint for Reform.

Mr. Duncan noted that Ms. Umbridge's philosophy of education is quite similar to that his administration, which has claimed that the top priority in education today is the creation of rigorous standards and tests to enforce the standards.

Ms. Umbridge, is the former Headmistress of The Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and is famous for her statement to students concerned about the relevance of classroom instruction to practical knowledge, " … a theoretical knowledge will be sufficient to get you through your examinations, which after all, is what school is all about."

"We have a lot of heavy lifting to do," said Mr. Duncan in announcing the new appointment. "Schools will soon have so many tests to give we may have to lengthen the school day just to fit them all in."

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